disinformation

Latest updates:

22/01/2026 - 00:40

i'll try to be the most honest i can about this topic.

i've made this website with the intent of someday publicizing my personal logs - my diary entries, written in HTML files - to the whole world. since late november 2025 i've written almost every single day about anything that has been on my mind and some of my thoughts about my personal problems. i started doing it right after i went through a personal situation (that I'll probably write another post about) and needed somewhere to collect all my thoughts about it, somewhere where i felt like i could be completely honest about everything, specially to myself.

and, continuing with this same sentiment, i do say that i wanted to publicize them to maybe get an external person's opinion on these things - and to have someone say to me that my life isn't over, that i will be able to achieve what i want. but in treating these files to integrate them with this blog, i've realised that there are trillions of mentions of self harm and suicide - something that could have horrible implications (see the Werther effect - made popular because of one of my favourite books, ironically - but it might also trigger someone who's been dealing with these things) if someone someday read them.

but even if i ignored this factor, do i really need to do this to feel better? and i may answer this positively, but still, should i expose these extremely personal thoughts to another person that isn't in position to help me? maybe, because of the embarassment i feel knowing that the correct answer to this question is no, i've been choosing to not do it. the fact is, i really needed (in an emotional way, not a rational one) to have someone else's validation - one of the most recent realizations that i've had about myself is that my opinion/feelings are not always something that i take into consideration internally and maybe this is the source of my desire for someone else's comments (honestly, reassuring words) on my problems.

i've spent the entire day working on python scripts to alter the contents of the logs' HTML, the JS code to load all files correctly and messing with the neocities API to dinamically send the new log i create locally to the website, but i've deleted everything (related to the neocities integration, not my log files) and, honestly, i do not feel that bad about having lost that much time to nothing - i just feel kind of empty.

i feel empty because i've been sort of anticipating a reception to these files - that someday, someone could find this collection of anonymous personal confessions, with a trillion words trying to describe how bad the author feels about their life and maybe that could touch this reader, in some way. but i understand that this is not the most adequate/responsible way of navigating this situation i'm in and i've made the decision that, for now, i will not do it.

obviously - this blog isn't extremely famous, nor does it will ever have a reason to be (i don't even think anyone has browsed through it yet!). i do think that someone will ever read these things i'm writing or look at any image i've put up in the galleries, but i really do not want to risk putting anyone in an uncomfortable situation because of something i've made. i haven't been in a great head space for the last years and i have a million grievances to still take care of, but i feel like things culminated in the situation i've mentioned earlier in this text and i'm trying to make something somewhat great from this situation (and before today, in a way, exposing these logs was a part of this).

if anyone ever reads this -> please take care of yourself, always be honest to yourself and to others and don't put yourself in any degrading situation. great things will always be after you.